


The Best Laid Plans

by Fairfaxleasee



Series: Fenris/Cassia [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Abuse, Autism Spectrum, Blood, Dissociation, Eventual Relationships, F/M, Gen, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:54:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27927079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fairfaxleasee/pseuds/Fairfaxleasee
Summary: In a well-intentioned but not overly well-thought out attempt to make Hawke and Fenris confess their feelings, Varric and Isabela plot to give them a reason to meet up at Aveline's Satinalia party.Set between Acts 1 and 2.
Relationships: Female Hawke & Aveline Vallen, Female Hawke & Leandra Hawke, Female Hawke & Varric Tethras, Fenris & Merrill (Dragon Age), Fenris/Female Hawke, Isabela & Fenris, Isabela & Varric Tethras, aveline vallen & isabela, aveline vallen & varric tethras, female hawke & hawke's mabari, sebastian vael & female hawke, varric tethras & leandra hawke
Series: Fenris/Cassia [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2141970
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	The Best Laid Plans

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Lyfurn, xqueen0fhellx, and Blondentexan for being my betas for this!

“Oh! Fenris, I...uh, didn’t expect to see you here.”

Cassia Hawke could feel herself blushing as she tried to pick out an interesting spot of floor to stare at. She truly hadn’t expected to run into Fenris today. If she had, she would have worn something other than the charcoal grey hooded jacket she had bought because it attracted absolutely no attention when she wore it. She liked the way he looked at her when she wore her burgundy tunic or aubergine crossover. When his eyes were on her, it was like she could feel every nerve in her body, and while there were other things that made her feel that way it had always been at least uncomfortable if not painful. But when it was because Fenris was looking at her that way, it felt exhilarating.

“Yes, well, I owed Varric some money from last week’s Wicked Grace game and he mentioned you might be stopping by...”

Cass hazarded a quick glance in Fenris’s direction. She thought he was looking at a different, but equally enthralling, area of the floor of the Hanged Man but wasn’t bold enough to keep looking at him. She also thought he sounded about as nervous as she felt, but she knew she was dangerously likely to be wrong about that. Cass wasn’t good with vocal nuances, it had gotten her into trouble her entire life and she didn’t want to risk it getting her into trouble with Fenris.

“Right, yes. He wanted me to look over a manuscript for him.”

Cass reached up to take a lock of her hair out of the bun she had thrown it in and twist it between her fingers. She wasn’t quite sure why she did that, she just knew she did it a lot when she was standing in front of Fenris. As soon as she touched her hair she remembered, mortified, that she had neglected to brush it in her haste to leave without her mother finding out.

She and her mother were engaged in yet another of their seemingly endless series of stand-offs. This one involved her mother’s totally incomprehensible desire to force Cass to host a Satinalia party. The only thing Cass hated more than being at a party full of people she barely knew was hosting a party full of people she barely knew. If she could invite one or two people over for something low-key it wouldn’t be so bad, but Cass knew her mother well enough to know that this would just be yet another exercise in forcing her into uncomfortable clothes to have uncomfortable conversations with people who made her uncomfortable, so she ‘could find a nice boy and settle down, or a nice girl if that’s the issue.’ That was emphatically  _ not _ the issue. Cass wasn’t sure what the issue was, she wasn’t even willing to concede the point that there was an issue, but assuming there was, it wasn’t that.

Cass had ignored her mother’s demands for as long as she could, then moved on to outright refusing them. Unfortunately, her mother had been particularly insistent so she had been forced to offer a compromise. She would host the party, but Squall had to be invited.

There had been few occasions she had managed to make her mother more livid.

“This shouldn’t be a CHORE, Cassia, it should be something you WANT to do. Bethany and Carver would have understood that.”

_ Yes, and we all regret they’re dead instead of me, thank you for reminding me. _

Her mother couldn’t refuse to let her have her mabari. She had always been able to relate to people better when she had an animal around. They helped her stay calm and level, or at least she was noticeably more calm and level with them around than without them. 

Of course, her mother also couldn’t allow her to bring Squall to a party. Squall didn’t really like people. In truth, he was usually scared of them but he looked like the kind of dog people assumed was vicious so when he just stared at them it made them nervous. The fact that he completely lost his mind whenever someone knocked at the door or entered the room might have contributed to the nervousness. Between that and the fact that he was a notorious cheese thief, any party he was at was a fiasco waiting to happen. Cass was willing to let a fiasco happen. Her mother was not.

Still, while the ultimatum disguised as a compromise technically stood, Cass didn’t want to be seen going out without Squall, and Squall had been banned from the Hanged Man just because he had broken a few...dozen casks of something she really doubted could legally be called ‘ale.’ And Cass didn’t want Varric coming to her estate because while they generally got along, part of her was afraid that her mother would be able to persuade him to help in her ongoing mission to ‘fix’ Cass and she really didn’t want to get into that with him. So it was easier for her to run out quickly to meet him at the Hanged Man without her mother knowing about it. Although if she had known she would see Fenris here, she absolutely would have brushed her hair. And while she still probably would have worn the boring jacket so she could dodge through the crowds without being bothered she would have made sure to wear something worth being seen in under it.

But now she was stuck in her ‘ignore me’ clothes with her unbrushed hair, too scared to actually look at Fenris, but too drawn to him to keep her gaze on the floor.

“Oh, Andraste’s tits, watching the two of you is ABSOLUTELY EXHAUSTING.”

Isabela slammed her mug down on the bar and pushed herself away from it. Cass’s eyes widened. She hadn’t even noticed Isabela standing there. 

_ Of course she was standing there, when the fuck has she ever NOT been standing there? _

Cass pulled her hood down over her eyes. She wasn’t quite sure what Isabela had in mind, but she doubted she was going to like it. She didn’t have a problem with Isabela personally. They got along fairly well, especially given their extremely different personalities and tastes in most things, but she didn’t have much patience left for shenanigans that involved meddling in her personal life these days. She got quite enough of that from her mother. Living with her was even worse than she remembered it being. She hadn’t intended to ever spend much time with anyone in her family once she left for Gwaren, but the Blight had changed those plans. And now that there was no one else for her mother to try to make into...whatever it was she was trying to make Cass into, there was nothing around to distract her focus.

But Cass was even more worried about Isabela ignoring her right now. They didn’t agree on much, but they both liked Fenris. And there was no way Cass could compete with Isabela for his attention. Cass might not be able to understand much about people, but she understood that women like Isabela got the men they wanted, and women like her got to go home alone.

“Away, wench.” Fenris glared at Isabela then glanced at Cass out of the corner of his eye. Cass had pulled her hood down, obscuring most of her face and was scratching at the back of her hand. 

He hadn’t seen her much recently. He had been away from Kirkwall doing some mercenary work and while he was sure she would let him in, he never felt quite right just going to her estate to visit. She would usually try to visit him when she was walking by and he was home, but she hadn’t been going out as often as she had been. He had been hoping to ask her about that, especially given how distressed she looked when she entered, but with Isabela trying to pull whatever stupid stunt this was, he’d be lucky if Cass said ‘good-bye’ before she ran out at the earliest opportunity. Cass detested being anywhere near the center of a public spectacle like the one Isabela was about to create, and for a woman who rarely failed to leave a lasting impression, Cass could disappear all too well when she wanted to.

“No. I am sick and tired of watching the two of you beat around the bush when you,” she pointed an accusatory finger at Fenris, “should be beating around  _ her  _ bush. Honestly, how hard is it to just SAY what you mean?”

Isabela walked behind Cass and put on what was possibly the worst impression Fenris had ever heard anyone do of anyone.

“Oh, Fenris! I want you to ram me until I can’t walk for a week. Maker knows I could use it.”

Fenris glared even harder but that didn’t stop Isabela from walking behind him and putting on what was somehow an even worse impression.

“Oh, Cass! I would love nothing more than to ram you until you can’t walk for a week. If anything, I could use it even more than you.”

“...Are you done?”

“Not until you two move beyond the ‘10 year olds with a crush’ phase of things, which you have been stuck in for YEARS. I didn’t think it was possible for two people to so obviously want each other but do absolutely nothing about it for so long! Varric, what do you think?”

Fenris hadn’t seen Varric enter the main room of the Hanged Man. He looked from Cass, who still had her hood down over her eyes, to Fenris, who only just realized his fists were clenched, to Isabela staring incredulously between him and Cass.

“Well, Rivaini, I think if you don’t drop this now you’re going to be very lucky if Elf doesn’t kill you right here, right now. And assuming he doesn’t, I think you’re going to be even luckier if Jigsaw doesn’t kill you slowly and painfully later.”

“Oh, if Hawke killed half the people she’s said she’s going to…” Isabela started.

“She’d have a slightly lower body count than she currently does,” Varic finished.

“I’m only trying to help!”

“If this is your idea of ‘helping’ maybe you should start trying to hinder,” Fenris said as he resumed his glaring.

“Ooh! So you DO want to get past the crush phase. Tell me all about it.” Isabela went back over to the bar to retrieve her previously forgotten mug.

Fenris glared harder. Isabela just winked at him.

“So, Jigsaw, about that manuscript I want you to look at…”

“Mm...oh, right.”

Cass pushed her hood back but kept it on. She wasn’t quite sure what had happened since she pulled her hood down or how long she had been out of it. Time and events would sometimes get foggy to her, she couldn’t control when it happened; but she could feel it coming on and she had learned that fighting it only made things worse. She had been excited about catching up with Fenris, but after what had just happened she didn’t trust herself to be around anyone, including him.

_ Especially him. I don’t want him to have to see me like this, or deal with me like this. _

She turned to Varric.

“So, I’m in a bit of a hostile armistice with a persistent adversary at the moment so I was hoping I could take it back with me.” 

“Sounds like there’s a story there…”

“Yeah, I don’t think you’ve got the chops for this level or flavor of psychological horror.”

Varric smirked at that. Cass thought there was something off about it but wasn’t sure what. She felt a bit bad about keeping her walls up, but Varric and her mother got on fairly well, or at least they pretended to, and Cass wasn’t so desperate for allies that she would try to undermine that relationship. 

It didn’t bother her that Varric and her mother got along, as long as he didn’t start acting as her proxy to make Cass do things she didn’t want to, but it did mean that Cass wasn’t comfortable telling him anything meaningful about her relationship with her mother. She didn’t want to put him in a place where he might feel compelled to choose which one he wanted to be friendly with. And not just because Cass was almost positive he would choose her mother. Not that she didn’t think he liked her, there was just a hard cap on how much anyone seemed to like her, and any time it had been Cass or someone else, someone else had always won.

Varric handed her the book.

“How long do you think you’ll need?”

Cass flipped through quickly to get a sense of just how much was on each page.

“It’s what, forty pages? Should be like two or three days? Assuming I don’t get volunteered for anything distracting in the meantime.”

“Okay, I can stop by your estate to pick it up-” Varric was cut off before he could finish.

“Good, I’ve been looking for you.”

Aveline had just walked into the Hanged Man. Cass had been avoiding her so she wouldn’t have to respond to the guard captain’s invitation to her Satinalia party. Just because Cass had no intention of hosting one didn’t mean she had any intention of going to one. Unfortunately Aveline didn’t like taking ‘no’ for an answer without a reasonable excuse, and Cass hadn’t met many people she had been able to convince ‘but I don’t like parties’ constituted a reasonable excuse.

“...shit.”

Cass shifted her glance between the other three people who had said the exact same thing at the exact same time. Fenris, Isabela, and Varric were similarly engaged. Obviously they were each avoiding Aveline for a specific reason and had no idea the others were, And three of them had just incriminated themselves for no reason.

“Well, Varric, Isabela, thank you for confirming my suspicions, I’ll deal with you two later,” Aveline said before pointing to Cass and Fenris. “Right now I want to hear from those two.”

Isabela slunk back to her normal spot at the bar and Varric tried to shrug nonchalantly before following her and ordering a drink.

Cass and Fenris glanced at each other. Cass had no idea why Aveline would want to talk to both of them about something. As far as she knew, the only thing Aveline would be tracking her down for was the party, and she couldn’t imagine Fenris had also been dodging the issue. He was much better about just refusing to do something and sticking to it than she was, although he seemed to get along with Donnic, so for all Cass knew he was planning on going. Fenris seemed equally confused about what they both could have done to earn Aveline’s ire.

“Don’t bother trying to get your stories straight, I’ll separate you for interrogation if I have to,” Aveline warned as she strode towards them.

Cass turned towards Fenris and shrugged while raising her hands in confusion. Fenris shook his head to her before turning to glare at Aveline.

“That won’t work on me, Fenris. Now, I’m still waiting to hear from both of you about the Satinalia party, I already know you’re both free that day. If you think I’m going to let you out of it you better have a good explanation right now.”

Cass looked at Fenris.

“You hadn’t responded to her yet?”

“I thought the ‘no’ was implied. But why didn’t you respond?”

_ Oh, no reason, I’m just terrified of large groups of people, and socializing, and pretty much everything else that is involved in a party. _

Of course, there was no way she could actually say that. She had been trying to explain that idea to people all her life without success. She thought she might be able to explain it to Fenris at some point, but she wasn’t prepared to have the conversation then, and she wasn’t about to have it in public, particularly when they were so near three people who definitely wouldn’t understand.

But Fenris was still waiting for an answer.

“I...um, parties aren’t really my thing.” Cass reached up to scratch at her neck. She thought she saw Fenris begin to smile before he started to reply.

“I didn’t re-”

“Neither of those is a good excuse. This party is important to me and I want it to go well. And I really want the both of you to come.”

Cass crossed her arms over her chest and resumed looking at the floor. Fenris went back to glaring.

“I know you’re both perfectly capable of showing up for a few hours and being pleasant and sociable.” Aveline clearly had no intention of budging.

Isabela snorted into her drink.

“You want me to be SOCIABLE for a few HOURS?!?” Cass looked up from the floor to stare at Aveline in disbelief.

“You want me to be PLEASANT for a few HOURS?!?” Fenris spoke at the same time and could barely get the words out.

“With PEOPLE?” They finished in unison. Then they looked towards each other and Cass smiled despite herself, but was glad she did so when she saw Fenris return the expression.

“Well, you two are still fucking exhausting to watch but you can be absolutely adorable sometimes too,” Isabela was practically laughing as she said that.

Cass’s entire face flushed at that and she once again pretended to be totally enraptured by the floor. Fenris resumed his glaring at a different target.

“You’re in enough trouble already, Isabela, stay out of this,” Aveline joined Fenris in glaring at Isabela who just winked and ordered another round. Aveline must have given her up for a bad lot as she turned back to look between Cass and Fenris.

“I’ll make this easy for you two: you’re coming unless you have a good excuse, and seeing as you DON’T have good excuses, if you don’t want to come, I’ll just have to give you some. So here’s your choice: show up, be pleasant, Fenris, and sociable, Hawke-”

“So I get to be unpleasant then?” Cass quipped.

“Both of you can do both, I’ve seen it. Just come and be nice for three hours,  _ each _ before you get any smart ideas Hawke, or spend the day in jail.”

“No.” 

“That wasn’t one of the options, Fenris. Hawke?”

“You can’t prove a damn thing.”

“I can hold you for 24 hours without charges. And he’s been squatting in Hightown for years. And Hawke you…have been aiding and abetting his squatting.”

“You can’t aid or abet squatting.”

“We’ll see about that.”

Aveline kept her eyes on Cass. Cass shifted her gaze away to consider.

Cass was confident that she was correct about that particular technicality. She was also fairly certain Aveline was bluffing about throwing them in jail. She wasn’t positive, but it would be distinctly out of character for her to jail someone over a social slight. And not going to the party wasn’t a slight against her as much as it was, at least for Cass, something that was just incredibly difficult to do, even if no one seemed to actually believe it. This could even be her attempt to throw them a bone, they hadn’t come because they  _ wanted _ to, they came because it was just slightly more appealing than jail. 

If Cass was wrong and Aveline was prepared to make good on the threat, she had nothing to worry about. She took particular care to keep her more...dubious activities confined entirely to four distinct categories: not technically crimes, outside any established jurisdiction, not possible to prove, and not worth prosecuting. Even if Aveline managed to find something, Cass was confident that she could talk her way out of whatever it was. True, her legal background was Ferelden, not Kirkwall, but she doubted that would matter. She wasn’t confident about much, but she was sure about her legal acumen. At least when there was an argument that could be made or an angle that could be played, and while she made a point to keep plausible interpretations open, Fenris, objectively, was squatting in Hightown. She could feint, she could obfuscate, she could deny, she could throw out an adverse possession argument, but the case would be provable. And if he had to leave his residence, she wasn’t sure she could convince him to stay in Kirkwall, and she didn’t want that.

She also didn’t want Aveline telling her mother she had refused to go to a Satinalia party. She doubted Aveline would do it with the intention of getting her in trouble, but that didn’t change the fact that her mother was likely to take it as Cass reneging on their deal (despite the fact that, objectively, their deal was limited to parties Cass refused to host and had nothing to do with parties Cass was invited to. But objective reality never seemed to matter near as much as her mother’s preferred interpretation of reality. Of course, that wasn't the only thing that never seemed to matter to her mother). Worse, her mother would likely force her into some sort of totally unnecessary reconciliation with Aveline over the matter, and while she could ignore her mother’s good relationships with most people, she hated watching her and Aveline. Her mother always seemed to be able to be patient with Aveline. She could also be sympathetic, and empathetic, even compassionate. Cass never seemed to warrant any of those, at least when it mattered, leading her to the conclusion that either she was fundamentally unworthy of them or needed more than she was entitled to or could reasonably expect, and the long list of ‘things that could actually improve Cass’s day’ did not include ‘watching her mother care more about Aveline than her.’

“...counter-offer,” Cass was technically speaking to the floor but Aveline seemed to understand the implication.

“I’m listening.”

“Two hours, neutral, you tell my mother it was three and I was miserable, and you don’t keep trying to make Fenris come.”

Cass shifted her gaze to Fenris at that last part. He had been relatively occupied glaring at Aveline but had begun looking towards her as she finished. She quickly returned her gaze to the floor. It wasn’t that she didn’t want him to come, honestly he was one of the few people she could genuinely be pleasant and sociable with, but she didn’t want him to be forced to come. All her alternatives were worse than going, if Fenris’s weren’t she didn’t see a reason to force him to sit through the party if he didn’t want to.

“Please, Hawke, if she has you coming she doesn’t need to keep trying to get Fenris, he’ll show up if you do,” Isabela interjected from the bar.

“I...he shouldn’t have to come if he doesn’t want to, it’s fine, Fenris.” Cass went back to scratching at the back of her hand

“Mmm,” Fenris kept glaring at Isabela. Cass had no idea how to take that, but she assumed she had done something stupid, unwarranted, or unwanted.

_ Forget law, fucking shit up is what I’m really good at… _

“As long as you don’t come determined to be miserable, fine.” Aveline could always be relied on to engage in reasonable negotiations. “Fenris, are you coming?”

“Mmm,” Fenris just shifted his glare back to Aveline.

“I already told you he was!” Isabela said. “Ooh! Are you going to have mistletoe?”

“Hawke, do you want to tell Isabela why there won’t be any mistletoe?” 

Aveline’s question was probably rhetorical but that didn’t stop the premise from being inaccurate.

“I never said I  _ would _ kill someone with mistletoe, I said  _ you could  _ kill someone with mistletoe!”

“Oh, if Hawke poisoned people with half the things she said she would use…” Isabela began.

“She’d be slightly less dangerous than she is,” Aveline finished. “So no, there won’t be any mistletoe.”

“Hmm...that’s too bad, oh, but it’s an ugly sweater party, right?”

“What?!?” Cass and Fenris said in unison for the second time in the conversation.

“No.” 

Again, Cass envied Fenris’s talent for unambiguous brevity.

“You don’t think that was a material fact that should have been disclosed?”

“Oh, come on, Fenris, don’t you think Hawke would look  _ adorable _ , especially if it was tight in all the right places?”

Fenris swallowed as he continued to glare at Isabela.

“And Hawke, isn’t Fenris just too cute when he’s blushing just a little bit?”

Cass’s face went red again but she managed to mutter, “Undisclosed material fact.”

“It’s  _ not _ an ugly sweater party. But if someone, say Isabela, decides to arrive dressed totally inappropriately, I am going to put that person in one of the ugly sweaters I bought just in case.”

“But people can wear them if they want to, right?” Isabela seemed too excited at the prospect for Cass’s liking.

“With the understanding that an ugly sweater can  _ still _ be inappropriate and I will  _ still _ put you in a different one.”

“Oh goody!” Isabela clapped her hands.

“Enough of this,” Fenris started angrily stalking towards the door.

“But you are still coming?” Aveline called after him.

“Bah!” Fenris slammed the door behind him.

Cass could feel the tears pricking around the edges of her eyes. She pulled her hood down again and tucked Varric’s manuscript under an arm.

“I should go too.” Cass tried to follow Fenris out the door but Aveline caught her arm.

“Hawke, are you okay? Look, if this is a bigger deal than…”

“It’s...whatever, I don’t care. I just...need to go.”

“Oh, let her go. She’s probably just going to try and catch Fenris so they can plan what time to get there.”

“I really wonder about you sometimes, Rivaini…”

“NO!” Cass had thought she was too far gone to feel anything, but apparently that didn’t extend to panic at the thought of trying to impose herself on Fenris further. “He was so mad, I should have just kept my mouth shut, I shouldn’t have said anything…”

“Wait, Jigsaw, you thought that was about something you did? You don’t think you might be overlooking an obvious suspect?” Varric turned to Isabela.

Cass was breathing too fast to say anything anymore and she doubted her throat would have worked even if she had been able to get her breathing under control.

“A  _ very _ obvious suspect?” Aveline let go of Cass’s arm and gazed at Isabela too.

“Oh, I agree, this is entirely Aveline’s fault,” Isabela smacked the bar for emphasis.

“Well, Rivaini, I suppose she was aiding and abetting…”

“It would have been fine if you had just kept your mouth shut, I just wanted Hawke…” Aveline stopped and turned around to look for Cass. But she was nowhere to be found. Aveline surmised she must have bolted out the door as soon as her arm was free. “Well, that could have gone better. Isabela, Varric, whatever you’re up to, just stop.”

“Oh, but what would be the fun of that, big girl?” 

Isabela winked at her but Aveline had had enough of her for one day. She left the bar too.

“Well, Rivaini, that was an unmitigated disaster.”

“I know! I thought I could at least have gotten them to kiss.”

“That’s...what you got from all of this?”

“Yes, one of them could have been the damsel in distress and the other one could have rescued them, and then they would have kissed. But why am I telling you this, you’re the storyteller.”

“Ravaini, I don’t know what you’ve been drinking all morning but I don’t think it’s good for you…”

“Oh, all  _ right _ , Varric, so that didn’t go like I planned. But still, you have to admit they’re  _ exhausting _ to watch after all this time!”

“Leave them alone, they’ll figure it out.”

“Hawke and Fenris? The most awkward and grumpy people we know? Those two will ‘figure it out’?!?”

“Eventually...probably...hopefully…”

“Yeah, Varric, I don’t have time to wait for ‘eventually.’ Fortunately I can use this party.”

“Please don’t.”

“We’ve just got to get them into a situation where they’ll have to talk to each other…”

“Isn’t that what they were doing before you got involved?”

“Well they weren’t doing it right! They might as well have been discussing the weather. Oh, what if I spill something on Hawke’s shirt, take it off and shove them in a closet?”

“I think that would end badly.”

“Well I can hardly spill something on Fenris’s shirt, he either wouldn’t care or would kill me.”

“So you  _ do  _ realize that you could annoy them enough to kill you then?”

“Do you think we could make one of them really, really jealous?”

“Are you even listening to me, Rivaini?”

“I mean Hawke will talk to that really boring Sebastian guy…”

“I think you’re tempting fate enough already without involving someone who could get the Maker to smite you.”

“And I could just keep flirting with Fenris until Hawke does  _ something _ .”

“Okay, that’s it Rivaini. Are you just trying to break them up?”

“How can I break them up, Varric? They’re not even together, which if  _ you _ were paying attention is the whole problem.”

“I’m serious. Is all this just your terrible, terrible attempt to help or are you actively interfering so you can have Fenris?”

“Varric, I’m not  _ that _ desperate. Or shallow. Or, frankly, needlessly cruel. I mean, would I fuck him if the oppertunity arose? Absolutely. I’m not sure about her, it’s honestly hard to see her as a viable prospect, but assuming she was, sure. But I’m not going to try and break them up just for that.”

“Good. Just as long as we’re clear.”

They went back to their drinks. Varric let the silence sink in for a few seconds before, against his better judgment, he re-opened the conversation.

“Rivaini, you’re going to do something about this no matter what I say, aren’t you?”

“Unless they manage to figure things out on their own first, yes.”

“And you learned absolutely nothing from what just happened, did you?”

“Umm...I learned that we should lock the doors? And not let Aveline ruin everything?”

“If I come up with something  _ subtle _ that will get them talking, will you go along with it and promise not to try any other crazy schemes until at least after the party?”

“But what if I come up with something really, really good?”

“You won’t so don’t worry about it.”

“I might!”

“Tell you what, you think of something, run it by me and if I think there’s a chance of it going any better than just now we’ll talk about it. Now, do we agree that there’s about a 95% chance you’re going to end up in an ugly sweater Aveline picked out?”

“I can dress appropriately Varric! It’s just Aveline doesn’t always understand that.”

“Good, so, the storyline is that the rest of us decided you shouldn’t suffer alone-”

“Well that’s gracious of you.”   
  
“And we decided that you shouldn’t be the only one stuck in an ugly sweater, so we’re all going to wear them.”

“Can I pick them out?”

“You can pick out yours, Blondie’s, and Daisy’s.”

“Well those aren’t the fun ones!”

“I know, that’s why I’m letting you pick them. Now, we’re going to tell Elf and Jigsaw that the other agreed to wear the sweater if they do, and it’ll be true, we’re just flubbing the timeline a bit. And we’ll have to go to them separately and we need to wait so they won’t have a chance to talk to each other before the party because I don’t really want to see what creative way to kill us they could come up with.”

“So what are we going to do good guard/bad guard? Ooh! What about repentant pilgrim/harsh sister?”

“No and...I don’t want to know. We should split up, if we both go to both of them it’ll look suspicious and if one of us goes to both of them that could be too easy to trace back.”

“Alright, so which one do I get?”

“That is a conundrum, Ravaini...which one do you want?”

“If I pick Hawke, can I do her makeup while I’m over there?”

“Okay, that settles it, you take Elf.”

“Were you just going to pick the opposite of whatever I said?”

“Probably. Meet me at the Rose the morning of the party, I’ll give you the sweater for Elf, and just to be safe I’ll follow you to his place to make sure you don’t try and give him a different one.”

“I thought we were splitting up so we wouldn’t look suspicious!”

“Me shooing you out of the Rose before Aveline can catch you isn’t suspicious.”

“But we get them to wear the sweaters and then what?”

“And then that’s it. But they’ll be looking for each other and will have something to talk about that isn’t how much they hate being there.”

“So, we’re not going to lock them in a closet?”

“No.”   
  


“Or handcuff them together and refuse to let them out unless they admit they like each other?”

“Not this time.”

“Or say there’s a desire demon on the loose that’s forcing people to act out their repressed desires until it kills them and the only way they can save themselves is to act on their feelings?”

“Rivaini, do you even know what ‘subtle’ means?”

“Boring apparently.”

“Just give it a chance. And if it doesn’t work, let’s just hope that it doesn’t make things worse and they can’t figure out we did it.”

\-------------------------------------------------------

Fenris glared at the figure standing at the bottom of the stairs. When he had heard the door open he had rushed to the balcony hoping it would be Cass. He hadn’t seen her since the debacle at the Hanged Man, which was unfortunate but not unexpected. Something other than that was obviously bothering her and he had no idea what. He was frustrated with his own refusal to try and reach out to her for a change, he wanted to be there for her but he knew he wasn’t naturally the most caring or comforting person and he had no idea how to even start to try and ask her about what was really wrong, even if he knew he should.

_ I should have known it wasn’t Cass, she always announces herself. _

Whenever Cass did visit her voice always rang through the hallways almost immediately after the door closed. It had lost a lot of its hesitation over the years, but she always made sure he wanted to see her before she would go beyond the foyer. He never didn’t want to see her, but there were times he didn’t want to see anyone. She would always look hurt if he told her to leave, never for long, a flash of emotion across her face before she would retreat with an apology, but she never argued, never held it against him the next time she would visit.

The woman striding up the stairs then had no such care for just how unwelcome she was.

“You keep glaring, your face is going to get stuck like that,” Isabela said while leaning too close for his liking.

“Out,” Fenris turned to go back to his bedroom.

“Now don’t be like that, don’t you want your present?”

“No.”

Isabela slipped around him to cut him off.

“Aww! Grumpy. Getting it out of your system before the party?”

Fenris glared harder and clinched his fists.

“I said I wasn’t going.”

“Yes, but you’re a terrible liar about Hawke. She’ll walk right by your window on her way to Aveline’s, won’t she? Afraid you’ll miss her if you stay away too long?”

_ I  _ do _ miss her… _

Not that he would say that out loud. Possibly to Cassia, one day, but not to Isabela who was grinning at him like a cat playing with an insect.

“Although I guess if you really aren’t coming I could always give this to Sebastian…” Isabela drew out a package wrapped in brown paper and shook it at him. “She’s not saying much to him yet, but it did take her a bit to warm up to you, and I doubt he’d let her drag on for years the way you have…”

Fenris snarled at her. There was a time when the thought of Cass with someone else would have been a relief. Or at least, when he could have thought of it as a relief. But now the idea made him sick. Especially if it was someone like Sebastian who he secretly thought would be better for her than him. 

“Ooh! Touchy.”

Isabela shook the package again. Fenris snatched it out of her hand.

“You know it’s usually considered polite to thank someone for a gift.”

“It’s also usually considered polite not to barge into people’s houses without an invitation.”

“Oh, then I guess we’re both in trouble with whoever actually owns this place then…”

“I said out, wench!”

“Do you talk to Hawke that way? Is that what she’s into? Surprising, but sometimes the shy ones…”

“Must I physically throw you out?”

“Now, now, calm down, you still don’t know what you’re supposed to do with that.”

Fenris stared at the package in his hand completely confused.

“I was under the impression I was to open it.”

“Well, yes, obviously, but you don’t know what you’re supposed to do with what’s inside.”

Fenris considered this cryptic statement. The package hadn’t made any noise when Isabela had shaken it and it felt soft in his hand, but this was Isabela he was dealing with. She was prodding him about Cass and after what had happened at the Hanged Man he didn’t think he wanted anything to do with something she was giving him he would need explained.

“Ooh! Do you think it’s something naughty? I could show you so many naughty things you know? Is that what’s holding you back, afraid you won’t be able to impress her with your prowess when the time comes? You know if you ever want to practice…”

“I suggest you stop testing me, it doesn’t tend to end well.”

The smug grin slid slightly from Isabela’s face.

“Alright, you win. But I still need to tell you what to do with that,” Isabela indicated the package. “Don’t worry, it’s nothing dirty.”

“Make it quick.” Fenris spoke through gritted teeth.

“Well, I think it’s obvious that no matter what I wear Aveline’s going to be under the impression it’s ‘inappropriate’...”

“Everything you wear  _ is _ inappropriate.”

“SO Varric bought sweaters for everyone so I wouldn’t be the only one stuck in one.”

Fenris tossed the package at Isabela’s face as though it were burning him.

“Give it to Sebastian.”

Isabela lobbed the package back at him. He let it fall to the floor before kicking it away.

“But if I do that, Hawke won’t wear hers.”

Fenris tried to glare at her but doubted he was successful at keeping the curiosity out of his gaze.

“...why?”

“Because, Hawke said she’d only agree to wear hers if you wore yours. And hers is  _ really _ cute…”

Fenris swallowed.

“She...didn’t seem to want me at the party.”

Isabela reached over and smacked the side of his head.

“Hey! What was that for?”

“Honestly, how dense are you? I swear, the both of you are making this SO much more complicated than it needs to be. She didn’t not want you at the party, she didn’t want Aveline to  _ make _ you go to the party. She’s supposed to be pleasant and sociable and aside from you, who else is she both of those things with? Well, I suppose there’s…”

“Donotsayit.”

“So you’re going to wear it then?”

“I’ll think about it. IF I go. Now out!”

\----------------------------------------------------------

Cass could hear Varric and her mother talking in the hallway. She wasn’t quite sure how she missed hearing Varric come in, now that she was snapped out of her lethargy she could hear Squall protesting the event, barking and whining while running in small circles and throwing himself at the door to her room. She also wasn’t quite sure what had brought the episode on, but it was best not to dwell on that particular mystery if she wanted to be able to actually say anything coherent to Varric.

_ What’s he doing here anyway? _

“...appreciate you taking Cassia under your wing. Maker knows that girl needs the help getting about in society.”

Cass scowled at the door. She was never quite sure if her mother thought she was selectively deaf or just didn’t care that she could be overheard.

“Well, I’m not sure that’s how I’d describe our relationship, but I try to help where I can.”

Her mother didn’t bother to knock before swinging the door in. In retaliation, Cass didn’t bother reaching to try and stop Squall before he barreled into the intruders in one of his excited circuits knocking them both off balance.

“Cassia, control your dog.”

“Mother, knock before you come into my room. Sorry, Varric.”

Squall was poking Varric’s face with his nose. He seemed to actually like Varric, although it might also be he was confusing him with Sandal who was known to walk around with bits of cheese stuck to his face. Cass grabbed his collar and pulled him back.

“I’ll make you a deal, I’ll forgive you if you have my manuscript finished.”

“Manuscript...manuscript...oh, right, the manuscript!”

Cass turned to look around her room. She had definitely finished looking it over, now it was just a matter of remembering where she had put it…

“Cassia Amell Hawke, look at the state of this room! Honestly, I don’t know how you live like this, I thought I told you to clean up in here.”

Cass ignored her mother as best she could and focused on trying to remember where the manuscript was.

“The floor is not an appropriate place for clothes, you have a dresser, and look at this mess, did you just take out every puzzle in the house at once? Can’t you do one at a time like a normal person?”

_ I would have put it somewhere Squall and Sandal couldn’t get to it… _

“Are you listening to me, Cassia? Varric, I’m sorry you had to see this, Cassia, apologize to Varric.”

_ So that means it would be somewhere high. _

She caught the edges of the parchment just sticking out of the top shelf in one of the floor-to-ceiling bookshelves she’d had installed. She grabbed the chair from the table she had most, but not all, the puzzles strewn across and started to stand on it to reach the pages.

“Cassia Hawke, get down from there this instant! I don’t know what’s even going through your head that you think this is appropriate behavior at all, let alone in front of company.”

Her mother rushed over, grabbed her arm and pulled her off the chair. Cass yanked her arm out of her mother’s grip and started rubbing at where she had held it.

“Okay, but if I don’t stand on the chair, I can’t get the manuscript.”

“Find a different solution.”

“Fine.”

Cass looked around the room. She started pulling the table towards the bookshelf.

“Cassia!”   
  


“What? You said not to stand on the chair, I’m not. I’m going to stand on the table.”

“Why do you have to be like this, Cassia?”

“Why do you, mother?”

They were glaring at each other from across the room. Cass could hear a strain in her mother’s voice beyond the normal undercurrent of anger and resentment that usually accompanied her nagging but couldn’t tell what it meant. And at this point she didn’t care. She was tired of her mother’s constant attempts to fix her, would have found it preferable to just be ignored rather than having to walk around all the time waiting for the next time her mother would emotionally hamstring her for reasons she didn’t understand.

“Okay, let’s back away to neutral corners here.”

Varric had stepped between them.

“Leandra, I do need that manuscript back and I think she’s going to have to stand on something to get it. Unless you want her to put the chair on the table because I’d have to stand on both to get it. Of course if I did that, I could break my neck and then you wouldn’t have an invitation to the Guild’s wine tasting next month.”

Her mother laughed at that. Cass wasn’t sure why, it didn’t strike her as all that funny, but if it got her mother off her back she wasn’t going to argue.

“Now, I have to talk with Jigsaw about Aveline’s party later so could you be a dear and leave us for a bit?”

_ Oh fuck. Aveline’s damn Satinalia party… _

Cass suddenly remembered what she had been upset about before her mother had given her something to really be upset about. She didn’t want to go to the party, especially because there wasn’t going to be anyone there she could talk to. Varric and Aveline would be there of course, but they would be actually socializing and enjoying it and Cass couldn’t monopolize their time. She couldn’t join them for entirely different reasons. She could slink around and hide in corners, but she could also do that at home. Or at least she could if her mother wouldn’t be hounding her for not going.

“So, uh, were you going to grab that, Jigsaw?”

“Oh, right.”

Cass moved the chair back in front of the bookshelf and balanced on it to grab the manuscript. She handed it back to Varric.

“Thanks.”

Varric flipped through her notes and they stood in silence for a few minutes.

“Are you sure you want to come to this party, Jigsaw?”

“No. But given what my alternative is I’d still rather do it.”

“I doubt Aveline would actually throw you in jail.”

“Oh, right, she did threaten to do that, didn’t she? I was actually thinking of spending the rest of the day with my mother. Unless...she’s not coming to the party, is she?”

“Not that I know of, but I’m not in charge of the guest list. But still-”

“Varric, I told Aveline I’d show up, can you just drop it please?”

Varric seemed to be considering this statement. He was hesitating about something but Cass was too frustrated to care what. Talking with her mother never did anything for her mood. Neither did the fact that it only just now seemed to occur to Varric that she might not actually want to go to the party. She could have used his help in the Hanged Man. Now it would just be more trouble than going.

“Alright, Jigsaw. If you’re sure. But if you are going, I have something for you.”

He pulled out a package wrapped in paper. Squall grabbed it out of his hand before Cass had a chance to and started shaking it.

“Hey! Booger! That’s not cheese!” Cass went over and started to pry his mouth open. “It’s not cheese, is it?”

“No, but I am starting to wish I had brought some as a distraction.”

Cass got Squall’s mouth open enough to grab the package. She unwrapped it, balled up the paper, and tossed it across the room. Squall carrenned after it. With him sufficiently distracted for the moment, she looked at what was inside in chagrin.

“Uhhh...Varric, the fuck is this?”

“You remember how Aveline said she was going to make Isabela wear an ugly sweater if she didn’t dress appropriately?”

“Yes, but just because Isabela is going to have to wear one doesn’t explain why you’re giving me one. I can meet Aveline’s standards for ‘appropriate,’ I mean if we were talking about my mother’s standards that would be something different, but we’re not, so…”

“Yeah, well, we were talking and we thought Isabela shouldn’t be the only one stuck in one, so we thought we would all wear one.”

“Are you going to wear one?”

“Yeah.”

“Then you would seem to have already accomplished your stated goal of ensuring Isabela isn’t the only one in one without my involvement.”

“True, but Elf said he’d only wear his if you wore yours.”

“Aveline wasn’t supposed to make him come!”

“She’s not making him come, Jigsaw. He’s coming because he wants to see you.”

“I’M making him come?”

Cass could feel her breathing start to slip away from her.

“No one’s making him come. But you are the reason he wants to.”

Cass flushed slightly at that thought. She liked the idea that Fenris wanted to see her, although she did wish that he would either come visit her here or invite her to visit him at his house rather than wanting to meet at a party.

“It might be a moot point, Varric. There’s no way my mother would let me out of the house in this.”

“Well that’s a problem I can solve. I’ll explain things to Leandra before I leave.”

“That would save me at least three changes of clothes…”

“Okay, Jigsaw, I’m going to have to insist you explain that one.”

“It’s nothing interesting. There’s just always something wrong with whatever I want to wear, but I’ve figured out that if I make the third outfit outlandish enough I can get away with the first with a bracelet or necklace thrown on.”

“Couldn’t you just put the bracelet or necklace on in the first place?”

Varric was, of course, forgetting the obvious question. Although given that nobody ever thought to ask ‘Why can’t your mother just mind her own fucking business?’ maybe it wasn’t as obvious as Cass thought it was.

“Not if I want to be able to actually wear the clothes. That being said, maybe if I started with one of them on I could end with it off? Although I don’t like to mess with something that’s working while it still is. But I can keep it in my back pocket for if it ever stops working.”

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out, Jigsaw. You’re pretty good at that. So I’ll see you at the party?”

“Yeah, so no offence or anything, Varric, but I need to be seen by exactly two people at this party and you aren’t either of them so we’re just going to have to see how the rest of the day goes.”

“Fair enough.”

\--------------------------------------------

Cass was running out of ways to entertain herself. She’d already grabbed some food and something to drink, despite the incredulous look from the server at her audacity to pass up the various alcoholic beverages in favor of tea, another thing she was getting tired of being asked to justify. She had flitted through the open rooms looking for a dog and again for a cat, even though she knew Aveline didn’t have either. She’d spotted Varric, Isabela, Merrill, and Anders in their sweaters, she even lingered around Merrill and Anders to see how long it would take Aveline to notice what some of the designs were and shove replacements over their heads-she had noticed Anders’s almost immediately. Cass wasn’t sure whether she had missed Merrill’s at first or just wanted to wait for an opportunity to pull her aside quietly. Cass might not be overly fond of her current apparel but at least it wasn’t something that Aveline could have categorized as ‘inappropriate.’ She had already been seen by Aveline, who seemed surprisingly appreciative Cass had come, and by her calculations she must be getting close to the two hour mark. In all honesty, she would have likely left already but for the fact there was no sign, at least as yet, of Fenris.

_ Maybe I should have stopped by his house on my way and we could have come together… _

Cass’s eyes widened in horror at the implications of the idea. No, far too forward of her to even be considering.

  
“Ah, here you are Hawke. You can be a hard woman to find, you know.”

Cass shrugged.

“That’s what they tell me, Sebastian. I don’t usually have any trouble finding myself so I can’t claim first-hand experience.”

Sebastian laughed.

“Well regardless, I’m glad I finally managed to find you. I wanted to make sure I got to wish you a Happy Satinalia, but I must say, I’m a bit surprised you got talked into wearing such an...interesting sweater.”

“True, I am usually a proponent of leaving people to deal with the reasonably foreseeable consequences of their actions on their own, but I got pulled into a mutually assured destruction scenario.”

“Well, I don’t think I have first-hand experience with that, but you seem to have done well with it?”

“Eh, so far, but there’s still time for the destruction to happen so if you want to back away to a safe distance now’s probably the time. Or at least you can’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“I do appreciate the warning, but, if you don’t mind me saying so, you seem a bit...lost back here by yourself.”

“I’m not lost, I’m just…” Cass reached up to scratch at her neck. “It’s just getting tight in here but I need to find Fenris before I leave.” 

She leaned around Sebastian to glance around the larger room.

“Would you like me to go look for him?”

“I...no, I’m only supposed to be here for two hours, and it’s got to be close to two hours…”

Sebastian’s smile faltered.

“Um, Hawke, according to Aveline you’ve only been here for about 30 minutes.”

“...shit.” Cass scratched harder. She didn’t think she had another hour and a half left in her for this.

“Hawke, if you’re not feeling well I’m sure Aveline would be fine with you leaving.”

“No, no that won’t work, if Fenris thinks I’ll be here for two hours but I leave early then he won’t know I held up my end of the deal.”

_ Heh, ‘not feeling well,’ yeah right...this is so stupid. I can’t even handle the idea of being at a party for two fucking hours. What kind of pathetic person can’t even handle the idea of being at a party for two fucking hours. _

“Are you sure you don’t want me to go look for him?”

Cass shook her head. She hoped it would be emphatic enough to make Sebastian stop asking. People asking her the same question incessantly never helped, she had no idea why they seemed to think it would. She was perfectly capable of looking for Fenris on her own, it wasn’t as though she had suddenly forgotten what he looked like or anything, she just wasn’t sure she could handle finding him. Unfortunately that didn’t mean she could handle not finding him either.

“Why do you need to find him?”

“Varric said he only agreed to wear the sweater if I did, so I need to show him that I wore the sweater, but if he thinks he has two hours to see me here…”

“I could tell him you were wearing it before you had to leave.”

Cass considered the offer. As far as she knew, Fenris didn’t consider Sebastian an inherently unreliable witness like he did Anders, Merrill, or half the time Isabela. And they seemed to be on friendly-ish terms, or at least as friendly as Fenris ever really got so it wasn’t like she would be asking Sebastian to go too far out of his way to seek out Fenris at the party. But she was still hesitant. If she left now and had someone else tell him that she had worn the sweater, it would be tantamount to avering that she had put in a reasonable effort to be at the party. She was fairly certain that Sebastian had been correct when he had said she needed to leave, and that this represented her best effort, but once again her best just wasn’t good enough.

“...could have sworn I saw Hawke skulking around in here.”

“I just asked whether you’d seen her, I did NOT request you follow me about trying to find her, witch.”

“Awww, but I want to see your face when you find her.”

Sebastian inclined his head in the direction of the voices. Cass gave a quick nod before patting her face quickly to check whether she’d actually been crying. She wasn’t sure what she was going to do if she had been, she lacked both the time and the talent to try to cover the evidence, but she could at least avoid being taken by surprise.

“Over here, Fenris!” Sebastian called over the crowd. “Hawke was just asking if I had seen you.”

It took a second for Fenris to maneuver his way through the crowd into Cass’s field of vision, which was partially obstructed by the bookshelf she was positioned behind. Cass still wasn’t happy about being at the party, but she was, at least, more relieved than she thought she’d be to see Fenris again. She missed talking with him, but she was afraid to approach him at times like too often lately when she could feel herself fraying. She had pushed people away with that before, and didn’t want to make that mistake with him.

She met his eyes and smiled.

“Hi, Fenris.”

She was able to hold his gaze long enough to see him beginning to return the expression before she was forced to focus on the floor. The hand that had been scratching at her neck grabbed a strand of hair and began to twist it.

_ Well this is going better than last time, at least my hair is actually brushed. _

“Cass. I’m glad I managed to find you.”

“Yeah, um...me too. I was actually getting ready to leave…”

_ So much for going better, why the fuck did you just say that? Could you have picked a stupider thing to say? _

“Oh. Why?”

_ Well, there you go. Good luck getting yourself out of this you worthless idiot. _

“I...um...I’m just not really feeling well.”

Cass glanced back at Fenris. His brows were furrowed slightly in an expression she couldn’t quite place. She didn’t think it was angry, Fenris angry wasn’t subtle, but she didn’t like ruling out angry unless she was absolutely positive.

“Okay.”

Cass smiled in abject relief. She couldn’t remember ever saying something like that and not immediately being bombarded with prodding questions seeking to verify her allegation. To gage just how “not well” she was feeling before rendering judgement on whether it was sufficient to warrant the relief she sought. It usually wasn’t.

“...really?”

“Yes. You haven’t…” Fenris hesitated. “You haven’t... _ seemed _ well lately, Cass. I should have...it’s not important, but if you want to leave, we can leave.”

“I, Fenris, you don’t have to leave with me.”

“True. But I only came to see you, there’s no reason for me to stay when you go. Do you want to leave now?”

Cass nodded.

Fenris reached out his hand towards her. Cass let her hand fall some into the sleeve of her sweater so only a few of her fingers would actually touch him, she didn’t think she could handle any more contact than that, and began to reach back for him.

“What? That’s it? After all the work Varric and Isabela put into the plan?” Merrill looked as though someone had just snatched her Satinalia gift away.

Cass froze. Fenris dropped his hand.

“...what?” Fenris’s voice was as cold as anything Cass had ever heard.

“You know, the plan. Varric’s plan to get you two talking by tricking you into wearing the sweaters for each other.”

“Oh, Daisy, no…”

Cass had no idea how long Varric had been in earshot but she was beyond caring.

“It was going to be so romantic...and I probably wasn’t supposed to have told you about it, was I?”

“Why ever not? I would  _ hate _ to think you ever stopped thinking of us as  _ entertainment  _ for you,” Fenris spat the words before marching away.

“Now, Elf, just wait a minute…”

“You don’t think you’ve done enough?”

“Okay, so you have a point there but still…”

Cass couldn’t hear anything more than that. She wasn’t sure if that was because they had gone too far away for her to hear or if she had just stopped hearing.

_ Guess my fucking mother was right about the selectively deaf thing. _

She couldn’t sense anything except for the sting of tears on her face and the shock of pain that started behind her right ear and ran down her neck into her back.

“...awke-don’t you DARE move, I am going to deal with you and Varric in a minute, Hawke, I’m so...that was...do you ever think about what you’re doing before you do it, Isabela?”

“Technically it was Varric’s plan?”

“Do you think that helps?”

“Not really…sorry, Aveline.”

“Do you think I’m the one you should be apologizing to?”

“I...not really.”

“Hawke?”

“Oh, hi, Aveline, lovely party,” Cass could barely form the words, her strained voice cracking on every syllable. “All the same,” she could hear but couldn’t appreciate the manic edge that had crept in, hollow laughter punctuating unnatural pauses as she clawed into her own hand hard enough to draw blood in an effort to prevent herself from freezing up again, “I think next time you give me a choice between, heh, jail and a party, I really will have to go with jail.” She bit down on her tongue. She could feel the blood running down her hand but needed a new locus of pain to make her feet move.

She could feel the judgmental gazes and whispers follow her as she left. She couldn’t be sure they weren’t entirely a construct of her own mind, she couldn’t actually hear anything other than a dull ringing and she was looking at the floor but not seeing anything, but even if they were just in her head, they were still much too real.

\-----------------------------------------------------

Cass stood alone on the mostly empty streets of Hightown. The sun had gone down and the wind had picked up and Cass was shivering, but she was glad for the cold. It gave her a different kind of stinging numbness to focus on that didn’t originate in the dark corners of her mind that she couldn’t seem to keep away from. It would also cover for any traces of tears on her face, her mother wouldn’t be able to prove it was because of something that happened at the party, she could say it had been ‘fine’ as she shuffled past for a change of clothes. She’d get an earful for forgetting to wear a coat out, but that was acceptable.

_ Wait, did I forget to wear a coat? _

Cass stopped and looked back in the direction of Aveline’s house. Cass had no idea whether she had worn a coat there, but her mother would definitely remember. She couldn’t tell her mother she had forgotten it, she’d have to explain why, and she did not want to have that conversation. She also didn’t want to go back to Aveline’s to check whether she had left it here. She stood there weighing her terrible options.

“Cass.”

She felt the hand on her arm and reacted before she could actually process what was happening. She turned and sent a quick jab at the throat of whoever had grabbed her. Her eyes widened in horror once she had the chance to notice who it was.

“Oh...oh, maker, I’m sorry, Fenris, I didn’t…”

_ Well congratu-fucking-lations, you managed to take a totally unsalvagable situation and fuck it up even worse. Way to go. _

Fenris was still coughing a bit but managed a reply, “On reflection, grabbing a woman from an alley may not have been the best idea I’ve had.”

Cass ocellated her head and shrugged in agreement, “I mean, kinda…” But her tears were starting to flow again, “I swear I didn’t know it was you, I would never have…”

“It’s not your fault, Cass. None of it is.”

“But it is though. If I had just looked before I reacted…”

“It was an entirely appropriate reaction.”

She laughed for lack of an alternative response as the tears continued to stream down her face, some of them freezing on her cheeks. He took a step towards her and reached out a hand to brush them away. She took a step back and shook her head. She wanted the tears there, to burn as a reminder that she deserved the pain, that this was, entirely, her fault. He sighed but lowered his hand and didn’t try to follow.

“Cass, what happened back there, it wasn’t anything you did.”

“But if I didn’t come, if I had asked more questions, or thought harder about what Varric told me…”

“Yes, well, you got tricked by Varric, I got tricked by Isabela.”

“Because of me though.”

“But not anything you did.”

“But you came because of me. And you left…”

“No, Cass. Back there, and at the Hanged Man, I left because…” he sighed and turned his head away from her. “Because I was angry, and I didn’t want you to see me like that.”

“Fenris…”

“I...I can’t always keep control when I get that angry, I didn’t want to hurt you because I was angry, but I hurt you anyway.”

“It’s okay, Fenris.”

“No, it’s not,” he turned back to her “but I am so very relieved to know that you forgive me.”

Cass reached up a hand to wipe the tears away. Fenris began to reach out to her but stopped himself and clenched the hand into a fist before dropping it. She stepped back towards him and put her hand down. He slowly reached towards her face. She nodded to him and he touched her cheek. She flinched at the contact, her nerves were raw and it stung even though she was expecting it. He waited for her to be still again before he rubbed his thumb over her cheeks to remove the tears.

“Of course I forgive you, Fenris. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because you deserve better than to be hurt.”

“I don’t think there are very many people who would agree with that.”

“They’re wrong.”

“They’re so loud.”

She stepped away from him and raised her hands to her ears as the voices echoed in her head. Her mother’s. Her sister’s. Her brother’s. Her father’s. Her own.

“Do not listen to them.”

“It gets so hard sometimes.”

“I know. But you can’t give into them.”

Cass nodded. They stood in silence for a few minutes before she broke it with a whisper.

“...why’d you stick around.”

Fenris ran a hand through his hair and looked away.

“I...Varric, um, told me what happened after I left the Hanged Man. I didn’t want you to think it was something you did wrong. I thought that might be why you hadn’t stopped by lately.”

“I mean that’s part of it, I didn’t want to make things worse.”

“You don’t make things worse to me, Cass.”

“That’s another incredibly unpopular opinion you have there, if you’re not careful Anders is going to get mad you’re horning in on his thing.”

Fenris laughed and shook his hand.

“I don’t care about Anders. I care about you. I...missed you.”

“You knew where I was, Fenris, you could have found me.”

“I know, I just...I don’t feel right going there. Someone like me doesn’t belong there.”

Cass barely heard the last sentence.

“Fenris…”

She reached out towards him but stopped once she could feel his heat. Her nerves were already frayed, raw and burning, and the stars of pain were throbbing on the sides of her head over and behind her ears. As much as she wanted to she wouldn’t be able to handle touching him. Instead she ran a finger down along his arm and grabbed onto the end of his sleeve, holding as much of the fabric in her fist as she could.

Fenris’s eyes had followed her hand. He gazed at her still fist gripping his sleeve and smiled. He reached out to caress her head, but when one of his fingers grazed her ear she whimpered in pain and flinched away but pulled his sleeve closer to her. Careful not to touch her again, he coaxed a strand of hair away from the rest of her plait and rubbed it between his fingers.

“It’s not you, Cass. I know you would let me in. I just still don’t feel right going.”

“But if I were different…”

“NO! It’s not anything you’re doing wrong. It’s my issue.”

“...okay.”

“You sure you believe me?”

“Yeah. I don’t think I really belong there either.”

“Cass...is there…”

“No, it just is what it is.”

Fenris seemed to be considering the statement. Before he could reply a shout from around the corner rang out.

“You can’t arrest us for ruining your party!”

Aveline was holding the back of Isabela’s and Varric’s heads and was dragging them towards the Keep. Cass wasn’t quite sure how she was managing to march so easily given the difference in their heights and Isabela’s protest didn’t break her stride.

“I’m not arresting you for ruining the party. I’m arresting you for prostitution. And I’m arresting him for aiding and abetting prostitution.”

“I was in the Rose! It’s not against the law in the Rose!”

“Only if you’re working for the Rose.”

“Well, I mean if you want to get technical.”

“Come on, Aveline,” Varric tried to put on a winning smile before Aveline twisted her hand and he winced. “We were only trying to help.”

“I know, Varric. That’s what aiding and abetting is.”

“That’s not what I meant!”

Cass wasn’t sure if Aveline bothered to reply, Aveline moved quickly when she was on a specific mission.

“Fenris, do we have to bail them out?”

Fenris scowled in the direction they had gone.

“No. Not yet anyway.”

“Okay, well I should find something to do to kill the rest of the time my mother’s going to think I was at Aveline’s.”

“You could stop by my place. I really went all out with the Satinalia decorations.”

Cass laughed at the ludicracy of the statement.

“Well, that sounds like something I have to see.”

Fenris smiled at her and led the way towards his house.


End file.
